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Mon, 28 Dec 1998 01:26:52 EST
TIME CAPSULE ON THE EVE OF '99:
FUTURE U2: Larry gets a new wave (that little thing he does now has GOT to
go)! Bono grows back hair, Edge gets eyelashes, and Adam decides I am the
perfect soul mate for him (:::: sigh ::::: I love that man!) Musically, they
rock, and they always will. I'm hoping for a Bill and Ted type thing here,
you know, where all of society is based on their music. Yeah. That's it.
FUTURE MUSIC in general: Hanson turns out to be girls who lip-synch, and Spice
Girls are all Men in drag (not lip-synching though). Everyone else discovers
U2 is the only band of any substance, and they all do U2 cover songs for the
rest of their pathetic careers (yes Elena, oasis included).
FATE OF CLINTON: Clinton dies and goes to hell. Satan gives him his choice of
three eternities. Room 1 ... Al Gore and Hillary Clinton are sitting in a
bubble bath with champagne and candles lit. Satan asks, "Is this your
eternity? Bill says "No Way." Room 2 ... Chelsea, Socks and Newt are running
around naked in congress. Satan asks again "is this your eternity?" Again,
Bill declines. Room 3 ... Monica Lewinsky is "servicing" (ahem -- there are
children here you know) Ken Starr. Satan asks again "is this your eternity?"
Bill says "Hell YES!" Satan says, "Fine. Monica, you can stop now, we have
someone to replace you."
FATE OF AMERICA/DEMOCRACY: Shannon Carey-Thorpe, Lifetime Dictator. I start
by declaring A Sort of Homecoming the new National Anthem. And rename
"Sweetest Day" "Sweetest Thing Day." And St. Patrick's Day will be followed
by "National Sparky Day" in honor of Adam (who will also have a birthday in
March -- so naturally March will be come a federal holiday -- yes, the whole
month off).
FUTURE WORLD EVENTS: All the assholes get what's coming to them. The Hanson
twits loose their virginity to the Spice Girls in an awful misunderstanding of
each others gender.
FUTURE STOCK MARKET: Euro Currency goes worldwide wide, all economies are
boosted, people live out happy, prosperous lives ... Hahahahaha ...
Y2K? 1 good thing -- All my debt (mainly due to Pop Mart and a "supposed"
quick, cheap trip to Dublin) is curiously wiped clean ... 1 bad thing -- I
have to go back to the thousand page books on airline flight schedules and
have to write all reservations by hand.
NOSTRADAMUS? He couldn't predict me, so it's all a hoax.
NEXT POLITICAL SCANDAL: "Bono"-GATE Goes along with bono being into Herbal
Whores (you would only get it if you read every single wire post, or if you
wrote the thing about bono being into herbal whores).
Ha ... this was fun.
In the name of Sparky!
Shannon Carey-Thorpe
Ps.
Is it just me, or is Adam just too darn cute for words?
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b2 on Sun Dec 27 1998 - 22:29:36 PST